Your concern for your friend means you’re already supporting her. An unexpected pregnancy can make her feel isolated, but the fact that she shared the news with you means she trusts you.
Your friend needs physical and emotional support, and we’re happy to share practical ways you can help. If you would like personal advice, contact us at Harbour Health. We’d be happy to talk with you.
Try Using Active Listening
It sounds strange, but you can listen actively. It means you’re fully focused on what the person is saying. You’re not just passively hearing her words.
Your friend has a lot to consider. She needs a sounding board, someone who will let her talk openly. When you actively listen, you repeat back to her what you heard to make sure it’s what she meant.
Don’t interrupt or judge; instead, focus on listening. When it is your turn to speak, try asking open-ended questions. Those are questions that she can’t answer with a simple “yes” or “no.” She’ll appreciate being heard.
Provide Practical Help
Early pregnancy symptoms usually include fatigue, nausea, and mood swings. If she’s experiencing any of these, it may be hard for her to do everyday tasks. Coming alongside her and offering to do some of the following could be tremendous help:
- Grocery shop for her. (Food aversions are also an early sign of pregnancy. Be sure to ask if there’s anything she dislikes or anything she’s craving.)
- Cook a few meals and stock her refrigerator with easy-to-reheat casseroles or soup.
- Help her do everyday tasks like laundry, cleaning, or the dishes.
- Offer to go with her to her doctor appointments.
- If she has other children, offer to babysit or pick them up from daycare or school.
Show a Little Extra Kindness
Sometimes, something as simple as an encouraging note in the mail can brighten someone’s day. Here are a few ways you can show extra kindness:
- Bring a small bouquet the next time you visit.
- Treat her to a movie or an evening out if she feels up to it.
- Order her favorite takeout and watch a good movie together.
- Go for a walk.
- Join her in a hobby she enjoys.
- Get her a gift card for a nail appointment and go with her.
Encourage Her to Confirm Her Pregnancy
Believe it or not, a late period and a positive pregnancy test do not confirm a pregnancy.
Experts estimate that up to 20% of known pregnancies end in a miscarriage. The percentage may even be higher because many women miscarry before they realize they’re pregnant.
It takes a woman’s body time to return to pre-pregnancy hormone levels after a miscarriage, so it’s possible to get a positive pregnancy test days or even weeks afterward.
Encourage your friend to schedule an appointment at Harbour Health. We’ll start with free and confidential medical-grade pregnancy testing. If her test is positive, she may qualify for a limited OB ultrasound.
An ultrasound reveals:
- Whether the pregnancy is developing or if she’s miscarried.
- How far along she is.
- Whether the pregnancy is located safely in her uterus. (If not, this can be a life-threatening health concern called an ectopic pregnancy.)
If she’s wondering how she’ll handle the pregnancy, we can talk about that too. She has three options, and we’ll be happy to discuss each one. All of our services are free and confidential. We’re a judgment-free space where she can get the answers she needs.
If she would like company, offer to come to the appointment with her. You’re more than welcome.
She can contact us online, call (704) 489-0708, or text (704) 860-0880. We’re here for both of you.
Harbour Health does not perform or refer for abortions.
